Conqueror
by electric gurrl
Summary: "You know you two only fight because you secretly want to kiss each other," Ty Lee says without thinking. Oh, how she wishes her mouth had a filter. / Oneshot. Maizulee.


"Princess Azula the Conqueror," Azula says smoothly, eyes sparkling. Mai finds it funny; she has never seen Azula this... giddy. "That sounds good, doesn't it? _Princess Azula the Conqueror_."

They are alone in their ample quarters, Ty Lee trying to figure out her braid, Mai almost entirely covered in blankets and Azula pacing methodically. Mai never gets tired of the _pacing _with that girl. Ugh. She feels kind of like she is going to vomit and just wants to go to sleep before they either conquer the Earth Kingdom or are crushed to death by giant flying rocks.

"No one is going to call you that, Azula," Mai sighs, pulling the blankets up over her neck. It is _cold _in the Earth Kingdom, and she never got used to it, even after two years of this torturous, foul smelling nation.

"If I say it enough times it will catch on," Azula says sharply, her eyes flashing. Mai sighs again and Ty Lee curses in anger at her hair. Azula briefly fantasizes about burning it all off, but then again it _does _caress her curves nicely.

"It is never going to catch on," Mai repeats and Ty Lee makes a gulping sound. Whenever Mai talks back to Princess Azula, Ty Lee imagines a horrifying fight. Mai _stabbing _Azula or Azula _electrocuting _Mai. Each little spat seems to escalate in intensity and Ty Lee hopes it will not reach a combustion point.

"Well then I will _order _people to call me Princess Azula the Conqueror," Azula replies and Ty Lee nods feverishly, displacing her hair more and winding it more tightly in the knots her nimble fingers try to untangle.

"I'll call you─"

"Don't patronize me, Ty Lee," Azula snaps and Ty Lee chokes. She quickly returns to her protuberant eyes crossed at shining strands of light brown hair.

"It's not going to catch on." Mai closes her eyes and pretends to go to sleep. But _of course _it is not the last of it with Princess Azula.

"Call me it. Right now." And Ty Lee cringes. Mai forces her eyes open and sighs loudly and pointedly.

"No." She picks at her black fingernails.

"_Now_."

"I don't think so."

"I am _ordering _you, as princess of the..." Azula's eyes flicker wide momentarily. She glances around as if someone _not _involved in the coup is eavesdropping on their slumber party.

"I thought so." Mai sits up, the blankets shifting over her form. Ty Lee tries very hard not to notice the fact she sleeps in her underwear, and the ribbons of her bra are half undone.

And Ty Lee sometimes sees Azula's eyes flicker to Mai in the same way. She wonders if Azula has been with Mai in the way _they _have been together and it fills her with an uncharacteristic jealousy. As if the misguided affections of two fourteen year old girls bedding each other under the dim lights of a forsaken palace and in sleeping bags in tents, the pent-up sexual frustration flowing into confused motions is anything to feel _proud _of. She fears even more that Mai would find out about her two best friends having sex with each other.

The way she feels under the command of Princess Azula is entirely different from the way that Mai feels. Ty Lee is certain she has nothing to worry about as the two girls bicker relentlessly. And _then _she feels jealous because Mai is Azula's best friend and _can _protest her, even if she is always ultimately overruled.

Ty Lee is getting almost as jealous as Princess Azula is.

"You know, you two only fight because you secretly want to kiss each other," Ty Lee says without thinking. _Oh, how she wishes her mouth had a filter._

Azula purses her lips and Mai just looks uncomfortable.

"If you think so," Azula says with a small vindictive shrug. Mai groans.

"I think you two should kiss each other." And Ty Lee digs herself deeper. Azula gives her a look that makes Mai's eyes widen and then narrow. She is not hallucinating about them, is she?

Well, it is evident that Azula likes girls. Mai has known that for a _long _time. But did erotic childhood games of prisoner evolve into some kind of weird kinky Ty Lee and Azula...? She sighs and flops down on her back again. Time to go to sleep and...

"We will then. If that's what you think," Azula says sharply, pouncing onto the foot of Mai's bed with the grace of the prodigy she is. As her knees make contact with the plush palace mattress, Mai's body jolts.

"Are we really...?" And Mai sits up, slowly, suddenly very conscious of how few clothes she is wearing. Azula is still half Kyoshi Warrior and Mai is mostly naked and ruby lipped, her face probably stained for years to come.

"Yes, we are. You can call me Princess Azula the Conqueror for the rest of your life, or you can kiss me. No protests," Azula says, crossing her arms with a stare worthy of her father. Mai sighs for the thousandth time tonight.

"One of those sounds better than the other." And Azula is surprised when Mai is nearly nose to nose with her. They sit there hesitantly on their knees, as Ty Lee forgets about her knotted hair and watches with sparkling eyes. Azula does not let on to how _aroused she is _right now.

"I'm guessing I won't be Princess Azula the Conqueror," Azula sighs, her hot breath tickling Mai's neck in the most uncomfortable of manners. And _wet_.

"But _I'm _going to kiss Ty Lee when we're done," Mai says and her friends are shocked. Azula does not show it, but Ty Lee's rosy lips part in surprise. This is taking an interesting turn, to say the least.

"I accept the negotiation," Azula says calmly and haughtily, as if in a political situation and not a slumber party. Mai tries not to laugh, taking a deep breath and preparing for the most ridiculous thing she has ever done. And she tried to ram a drill into Ba Sing Se.

"Alright, princess, pucker up," Mai says softly, her face expressionless but internally enjoying this in some, sick, masochistic way.

Azula is certain she will regret this for the rest of her life. She presses her lips against Mai's and is surprised about how _warm _and not _bitter tasting _they are. Ty Lee's are oddly _strawberry _tasting and overly heated, as if her blood is broiling under the touch of the firebender. She imagined Mai's as quite different ─ not that she _ever _would imagine...

Mai kisses her a second time and Ty Lee grits her teeth. This is unpleasantly escalating for the acrobatwho feels as if she has rights to Princess Azula's body that Mai _certainly does not have_. And they kiss again. Again.

Ty Lee vaults over to the other bed, hair floating out behind her like a stream of water. She lands between them and pushes her arm between the nearly touching bodies of her best friends. Their _cleavage _was _touching_. Ty Lee is _not _pleased, although she is smiling brightly to cover up her distaste.

And before Ty Lee can tell them to stop this from turning into pornography, Mai presses her lips against Ty Lee's. Ty Lee jumps back, though she secretly _kind of liked it_. But this is not going to turn into some kind of weird threesome... right?

Mai and Ty Lee are blissfully unaware that their first wet dreams were nearly identical. _About Azula_. Not _Zuko _or _muscly guys _but _Princess Azula_. Despite her pointy nails that Mai does not want inside of her cunt, no matter how much she dreams about weird sex she would never utter aloud.

"There, contract fulfilled. You are definitely not Princess Azula the Conqueror," Mai says, pulling away from Ty Lee.

"Well, maybe we should go to sleep to have energy for murdering the Earth King and winning a One Hundred Year War, ladies," Azula says slowly and breathlessly, trying to seize control of the situation. She feels very _out of control _right now.

"Of course, Princess Azula," Mai says flatly, lying on her back. But her friends do not move away.

"Or maybe," Ty Lee says, speaking up about her opinion for the first time Azula and Mai have ever heard, "we could break the sexual tension."

Azula likes that idea.

"This is happening and you can't stop us, Mai," Azula says, still honestly frustrated about how good the kiss was. And Azula slips her hand to Ty Lee's back.

"You know what other girls do at sleepovers," Mai says dryly as Ty Lee is taking Azula's shirt off. She is startled at how much this does not surprise or revolt her. _It is weirdly erotic to her._ "Pillow fights. And talk about boys. And do each other's make-up/ For some reason, we ─ Azula that's just ─ we decide to conquer Earth Kingdoms and... make out."

"You're free to go have slumber parties with those other girls if you want to," Azula says airily and icily, though her skin is flushed to a level Mai has never seen before. And Ty Lee says nothing, her mouth full of Azula's neck.

Mai contemplates her options briefly.

_Most confusing week of her life._

And she does nothing but join them.

_Might as well._

It isn't like she cares anyway.

_Azula is a pretty good kisser._

* * *

><p>AN: I was listening to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" on a car ride and couldn't get this idea out of my head. I tried to keep it as IC and true to the series as possible, but eh, it probably is grotesquely OOC and ridiculous. Just for _fun _I suppose.

I _am _writing a Mai/Ty Lee/Azula full length fic, though. This didn't make the cut for it. It was too unbelievable and ridiculous for the angsty and canonical feel of the story.


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